Date: November 24, 3011
Last night the Intergalactic Non-profit CRM Awards were held in space.... of course, where else? Here’s a recap.
  | Black Bug wins Longevity Award While judges criticized its steadfast adherence to unusable technology combined with costly support, they were impressed with Black Bug’s staying power. Of course, it could have something to do with the army of very convincing Centoid salesmen, ten of whom showed up in identical suits to accept the award. Snail Force takes home the Goodwill Award The judges were so impressed with Snail Force’s generosity in giving away 10 free licenses to non-profits, that they gave it the Goodwill Award. Critics, however, called the whole thing a sham since Snail Force requires extensive programming just to get it working for nonprofits. After further examination, it appears that the critics might be right... free, in this case, is more like free bots than free cocktails. And we all know what bots are like without the proper programming! |  |
 | Honorable Mention Goes to DoDo Perfect The judges were impressed with DoDo Perfect’s array of donor management features. These features would have made it a great tool for nonprofits. Unfortunately, however, the system seems to be infested with jitterbugs which routinely make it act unpredictably. “Running simple reports is like trying to solve a complex puzzle”, one user explained. “It’s like an enigma, wrapped in a conundrum in the middle of the Bermuda Triangle.” The user jokes, but the pain is real. Some nonprofit employees have actually been caught trying to strangle the DoDo out of pure frustration. |  |
 | User-Friendly Award Goes to Sumac The final award presented at the end of the night was the coveted User-Friendly Award. The award went to Sumac - the software with the famous tagline: “Software Helping Nonprofits.” While judges did comment that the interface could be a little more “30th Century”, they were incredibly impressed at how easy it was to use and customize. They could run reports, perform sophisticated searches, and mass mailings with ease. The clincher for the judges, however, in deciding on the winner was that Sumac could support any language, making it the only CRM software that conforms with the Intergalactic Informatics Interchange Initiative (I4) standards. It even supports Klingon, which excited one judge in particular for obvious reasons. |  The Judges last night at the Intergalactic Awards |
Note: Some details in this article are fictitious. However, Sumac
really can support Klingon, along with every other language. It’s just
one of like a zillion things that make it the coolest software in this
galaxy!
really can support Klingon, along with every other language. It’s just
one of like a zillion things that make it the coolest software in this
galaxy!
